There are many things in your question which indicate that Linux probably won’t suit you either.
So, here it goes. I need to make the move from Windows to Linux as I am too pissed off with the many system crashes, numerous and random internet disconnecting issues, trojans, rootkits and malware infections and whatnot, and all of these on a fresh new install of Windows on which I only installed the bare minimum (winamp, browser, antivirus, office, vlc, etc, etc).
No new downloads, no new apps installed, no anything and yet, system crash after system crash, virus infection after virus infection (and that’s after scanning PC twice or three times with AVG, Malwarebytes, HitmanPRO, NOD32, Avast, Avira and whatnot).
If you are having these problems right out of the box, almost undoubtedly the problem is not Windows.
I just need an OS that installs fast, has the same (or almost the same) feel and design as Windows (Xp, Vista, Win 7, or even Win98 doesn’t really matter), is easily customizable and which doesn’t need 10,000 upgrades and reinstalls in one year, like most of the distros I learned about seem to undergo (most of them seem to be upgraded once or twice per year).
Most Linux distributions install fairly quickly, some processes are more involved than others. Most distributions try to cast a balance between having the latest versions of software and having a stable package ecology. Debian stable has infrequent updates, largely only for volatile or security reasons. Obviously that would mean that you do not get the latest versions of software, but that seems to be what you want.
Anyway, as I was saying I need a stable OS that will function flawlessly even after 10 or 20 years, without needing a single upgrade, update or re-install. I am not interested in learning to use terminals or lines of code, I am not interested in gazillions of packages in their collection of software and applications, I don’t need dozens of games or trying hundreds of new, cool and shiny apps, or anything like that. I will stick to the same browser that I’ve been using since it came out (mozilla firefox), I will stick to the same 2-3 games I’ve been playing since I was a kid, I’ll also stick to the same Winamp, Winace, and other stuff that I’ve been using since I got my first PC. So, a huge collection of apps and even games won’t impress me to install the latest and coolest distro if it fails to offer the minimum (stability and security)
If you install a Linux distribution and don’t upgrade it, it will probably continue working indefinitely assuming the hardware doesn’t fail. However, you seem to have two contrasting ideals: in your last sentence you ask for “security”, but you also ask to never update. As security is important to you you will obviously need to update to fix security issues as they emerge, but you also state that you never wish to update. If you’re looking for a balance, again, probably Debian stable strikes it.
Aside from Firefox, it is possible that your games and Windows applications won’t work in Linux (they almost certainly do not have native ports, and may or may not work in WINE).
I can understand that it’s almost impossible for any distro to contain drivers for all possible device types and models, so I won’t insist on this aspect. But at least I need to be able to easily make the devices work properly.
This is one area in which Debian may not satisfy you. Debian only packages free software in its main repositories, so your choices for hardware drivers will be limited to that out of the box. You can, however, enable non-free repositories and install any packages you may need after installation.
My recommendation would be to revise the way you’re looking at this problem entirely. Windows doesn’t suit your requirements because your requirements are in many ways conflicting, installing Linux doesn’t make those contradictions any less so.
If you really want to try something, though, Debian stable ticks most of your boxes. It’s a rolling release, so you shouldn’t have to do anything too major in terms of upgrades. Worst case, you can only apply security upgrades and only do a major upgrade when your version becomes unsupported (or don’t upgrade, and risk security issues).